Treeman II

I am tempted to ditch the orc team for the upcoming season and give my imperial halflings a whirl...

No, I am not drunk.

Yet.

It could all well drive me to drink.

What the team needs are old, hard treemen. Proper conservative "oh you young fools!"-types who can take a punch and fling a 'fling to glory.

I feel I have had to build these creatures. Or rather improve on the work of others. I am still not happy with my previous effort, the converted wood golem, so here is another.

All comments welcome.

Oh and happy new year!

Treeman

Did some sculpting on an already...Well, he left much to be desired. Disco bell bottoms (y you make slim thighs on big tree?!), a weak trunk (pun intended) and almost no face. Looked like shite next to all other treemen.

Now he's bulked up a little and he has more of a face. I may bulk his midsection more, and gaps need filling too.

He has a shoulder pad too, even if this pic does not show it.

All comments welcome.

Get the ref

Yes, I still live. A couple of Morley's boyz came over, arms raised high in anger for me having mocked their master, and they roughed me up good.

I keed, I keed...

In truth, work has demanded all my energy and time. Minis are piled up, waiting for my tender mercies.

All I have done so far on this rainy day is tinker with lamps and lightbulbs and trying to organise some bitz. Came upon this ref that I got recently. Any good ref rules around these days?

Book review: Marks of Chaos (two books)

Work has been riding me hard lately, and I haven't gotten any modelling or painting done. Hopefully this week, perhaps even later today. Meanwhile, I have managed to read some books by James Wallis, and you should too. Go. Now. Read these.

Of the somewhat frightening amount of Warhammer books that I have read, I must say that these are so far the best. By a mile or so. That's not counting Warhammer 40K where people inform me that there are some other juicy finds, but this two book series so far kicks the crap out of any other Warhammer book that I have read.

The plot is GOOD. We follow the downward spiral of Empire soldier Karl Hoche as he becomes... touched by Chaos and embroiled in plots that threaten the security of the Empire and involve several secret organisations. It is perhaps not so much a descent as it is the deconstruction of Hoche, and a transformation into... well, lets not give it all away here. This takes place as Archaon's hordes march on the Empire, yet there are not many big battle sequences and tedious "Battle reports", so do not avoid this book just because it plays out among big name characters (Luthor Huss, Valten, Gamov) or take place during one of the great metaplot events in the Warhammer world. It remains a personal story of one man's doom, and we are not so swept up in big events that we lose track of individual character's humanity (or lack there of), motives, feelings, etc. Basically, this book is about what someone does when having lost everything, and fighting a losing battle. It is about defiance and survival, about making the most of situations.

The writing is crisp, and the plot is intelligent. I was not bored at any point, and that was not due to full on action non stop, but rather due to a clever balancing of mystery, paranoia and dread. Hoche's world is grim, and Hoche grows grimmer and grimmer till he fits it. It is a trust no one story (slightly undermined by the presence of famous characters) of personal horrors that plays out among big events. We are treated to enough details to get a distinct sense of the Warhammer World, and so this is not a story (like some others I have reviewed) that could be transported to a different fantasy universe with a few minor alterations. It is Warhammer through and through without selling you any miniatures or games, something which is rampant in other Warhammer books. Wallis writes good characters, believable and multi-faceted, imperfect and interesting, and he writes a good anti-hero. Combat scenes are mainly quick and dirty, the violence is gritty, and Chaos is truly horrific, disgusting and ... everywhere.

Is there nothing bad about this book? Well... I suppose some might find it a bit cynical at times. Again, I do not want to give anything away, but there are several characters in the book who come to a largely undeserved end. There is no justice in this book. This is like Clint Eastwood's "Unforgiven" with a vengeance in the sense that life sure as hell does not reward the righteous and punish the wicked, so prepare to give up a few "aww, maaaan..." along the way. Looking with critical eyes on this book, it may even be said that the nicest guys finish last, or rather, that they come to the most brutal early deaths. Is that intentional? Possibly. Hoche is not a hero, and he is not written as such either, and so he possesses a hard edge that few of us would hope to have, and he may not even go down as very likeable. I think that IS the point, though.

Rating: 5 out of 5. Dog's bollocks. Warhammer World as it should be.

Book review: Masters of magic

I know, I know... why is he just reading when he could be painting? I actually read this as I travelled for work recently. It is pretty much perfect for that, as it is an easy and not terribly complicated read. I mean that as a compliment, really.

Seldom have I enjoyed a plot as basic as this one, so kudos to Chris Wright for managing to make (most) the characters interesting enough to captivate me and making a lot of a little. True, I am a sucker for wizards hurling lightning bolts at one another, but I like to think that there is some lower limit to what I will accept, and this book was well above.

The plot in short: A young grey wizard encounters an army of orcs led by a shaman. Stuff happens as the orcs rampage towards Altdorf, and more wizards get involved, some as part of wizardly intrigues and power struggles, and we are treated to many wizardly things, such as spellcasting, arrogance, manipulation, heroics and all such juicy things for the eager reader. It's all written fairly basic, vibrant and with just the right amount of depth for each character to make some sense and spawn some interest without anyone ever actually getting very complicated or too full of plot hooks (even though a number of famous Warhammer characters make at least an appearance) to be useful in the tale. I think we can all guess with some level of accuracy who will make it through this story alive, but there are a few surprises along the way.

So far, all good. Another good thing? The orc shaman. Described much like the shark in "Jaws" or some such, we don't get the god-awful attempt at describing things from his point of view. There ARE enough characters to switch through as it is, and none of them are too complicated, so adding another would effectively detract from both the added character and the ones you had already. The danger when describing battle wizards of the Empire always seems to be that one ever so easily ends up writing some cliche-ridden characters who each just embody their college, OR you end up with someone who is the polar opposite, because of how curious and interesting THAT would be... So yeah. Orc shaman who remains orcy? Big plus. Battle wizards who don't go too overboard in cliches? Big plus too. (Some of them may be a bit stereotyped, but fair play, mr Wraight)

I was recently asked if all of these books aren't just "one big battle scene after another". I strongly denied that filthy suggestion, but... Well this one kinda is. Let's not pretend that it does not contain a strong amount of spellcasting and violent battles. It does. the book is perhaps intelligently put together, but it would be a stretch to suggest that it contains much mystery or information. There is of course information about the colleges of magic, a tiny bit about spellcasting and greenskin magic, but that's all the cultural fluff/depth you get. No exotic region, no craftily hidden references for initiates (not me at least) and not much to make you cry out to dark gods for a sequel either really, though I imagine some of the characters turn up elsewhere, perhaps in Wright's other books.

Over all rating: 4 out 5. Solid. Delivers. "Give him the ball and he'll score."

Book review: Death's Messenger

I threw myself into "Death's Messenger" in damn near complete ignorance it seems. I foolishly thought that it was perhaps written by a woman (Sandy?), but I was wrong. It's a pseudonym. It says so in the back of the book. Not sure I understand what the purpose was then, but hey. Secondly, I had not grasped that this was in fact part one of a series, and so I sat there throughout the book, admittedly LIKE A MORON and kept wondering HOW miss Sandy would manage to offer a satisfactory ending to the tale as the pages vanished.

As usual, I will not spoil the plot much. It's a coming of age tale, a grim one at that, as young Rudi is forced to flee his village in the rural regions of the Empire. Antagonists are many and of every stripe, both village bullies, beastmen, skaven, zealots, cultists... You name it. In retrospect, it all calls for elaboration to make much sense, but it is such an easy read that I was perhaps misled into thinking that it just wouldn't be explained or fleshed out much. Young Rudi goes from a somewhat stunted upbringing in the woods - and yes we get it several times: he grew up in the forrest with his stepfather, he thus has little sophistication and few social skills - through a brief career as mail man in his local community and straight to fugitive in a Mark Twain-ish story.

What's good? The writing is fairly crisp and vivid, not too meandering and pretentious, not too simple and repetive. The characters ... well, a lot are RPG-stock, including the main protagonists. Painfully so, some might find, but some of us may accept it as part and parcel with Warhammer books. I wasn't too bothered. It was like drinking Guinness. You've had it before, but it's still good. It IS a very easy and somewhat predictable read where it's fair to say that many veterans will understand more of what's going on than the characters. It's a classic problem in these books, and so is the "it does drag a bit"-sequences when characters are "between" major plot elements, and you can figure out where stuff is going.

The plot does seem genuinely complicated and "large" enough to keep young Rudi occupied for two more books without too much (literally) wandering in the wilderness to finally manage to bore me.

There is not much - if any - new info in this book. Nada. No nuggets if arcane knowledge, no explorer's joy as we visit new and exciting regions. We do not really visit any regions at all actually, as it's all very generic "fantasy landscape" where monsters lurk in woods, villagers struggle in ignorance and adventurers do cool stuff. Everyone has German sounding names, but they could have had any names, anywhere, and it wouldn't matter much. There's a little flavour involved when it comes to Chaos (a specific god that it won't take big brains to detect for the seasoned Warhammer reader), but that's it really when it comes to slightly less generic stuff.

It ends in a cliffhanger. If you hate this sort of thing, or don't fancy reading a whole trilogy then skip it altogether. I think you can miss it and not kick yourself, unless you're reading it so that you can join a roleplaying game and roll your eyes when your gamemaster steals from it, or something that he genuinely thought up accidentally resembles parts of this tale.

Rating: 3 out of 5. Spaghetti bolognese.

Orc team IX

Meet da coach!

I read that harsh disciplinarian coaches win more than friendly types... Not that I can imagine coaching orcs by being a nice, rational, friendly type. So this coach isn't. He is ranting and raving.

His cap needs a little work to make it more of a cap, and his right hand needs a little surgery on the thumb. You can't see that here though.

"The elves were who we thought they were!"